November 30, 2011

Winter Woes

I honestly feel like I'm going through some weird quarter life, identity crisis or something. There's something quite unsettling about how my life is at the moment.

I really can't put my finger on how I feel, it's a mixture of nostalgia to becoming confused as to who I really am. Identity crisis much?

My soul feels sad. I think that statement pretty much sums up how I feel. About nothing specifically, just generally sad.

November 28, 2011

Boys Noize at the Mezzanine | San Francisco, California

Boys Noize at the Mezzanine for my 21st birthday, what a way to submerge myself into the not so glamorous life of a 21 year old. The event was indeed 21+ and was definitely a different perspective on going to events I'm used to going to. I was kinda iffy since I've never been to a 21+ event, though I have been at the 21+ VIP area before at Ruby Skye. The crowd was different and pretty interesting, not expecting such a crowd to listen to Boys Noize. The venue was spacious, but of course nothing short of sweaty, interpretive dancing, large men and women going buck wild. 

Let's just say, I started the night off ordering my first drink: an AMF followed by a Redbull Vodka and lots of drunk sloppiness and fun ensued.

November 26, 2011

Black Friday Pick Ups

H&M Velvet Mesh Dress, Striped Dress, Knit Beanie, Knit Sweater, Cowl Scarves in Black and Biege
Hellz Bellz Crewneck & Asymmetrical Drapey Black Cardigan

Just a few things I picked up on Black Friday! Notice a theme?

November 21, 2011

thanksgiving week

This week needs to go by quicker. I'm looking forward to all the good eats, family time and friend time I'm expecting this week. It'll also be my 21st birthday weekend, which hasn't really been something I can look forward too since I'm still recovering from a recent kidney infection.

I don't know what it is about this month, but it's leaving me with a cloud over my head. Perhaps it's the gloomy and cold weather? I usually love the cold days, I guess I'm just realizing how different things have been since last year. My closest friends away from home and my family breaking yearly traditions to have more convenient plans this year. Change is difficult to bare with.

I wish I had more control in my life, everything seems so unorganized and unexpected it's making me feel uneasy. It's chaotic but not at the same time. I tend to say the last statement a lot at work. It's a strange feeling to feel stressed, when it shouldn't really be.

This rant is as unorganized as my thoughts are, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

November 9, 2011

Tired and uninspired

Tired, uninspired, and insecure. Three words, that have been constant themes in my life lately.

Sleep doesn't come easily anymore and proves to be more and more of a necessity than before. I go to bed and before I know it, it's time to be up. Life at the moment just seems to be so constant, it lacks downtime from what I remember and even my goals seem so distant. I don't want to confess that I may have started to give up because I don't plan on doing so, but just might be the case right now. I have the reoccurring feeling of insecurity for the oddest reason, leaving me more sleepless at night and more lost in thought in confusion as to why I'm feeling this way.

This is uncertainty might be due to stress, maybe it's just me realizing that life is passing me by or maybe it's just from the past years of repetitive disappointment that lingers around forewarning me to expect the worst. It's days like today, that leave me restless and confused as to what I exactly need.